4th Campaign 1st challenge.

Here are the rules:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem.

Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these: end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count) include the word "orange" in the story write in the same genre you normally write make your story 200 words exactly!

As always, I find I must add all the optional extras.

This one is called....

The Eclipse

Shadows crept across the wall, their claws finding purchase in every mortar joint. Clare watched them from the corner of her eye, not daring to move lest they see her, not looking at them directly lest they vanish from sight.

The shadows were silent, but they gave off the faintest of smells -- like the tang of burnt metal when her father was welding. But he was gone now -- consumed by the shadows that had come with the endless night.

Clare thumbed the rubber button on her flashlight. Orange light flared, burning away the faint starlight that had lit the car-park. The shadows screamed -- a harsh whisper like a gale across a field of grass. Light was their only weapon against the darkness, but the first thing the shadows had destroyed were the power-stations. Clare waved her beam across the wall, running for the truck just as Archer revved the engine to life.

The batteries that filled her backpack made her slow, and coldness brushed her leg as a sliver of darkness reached for her. Then the headlights came on.

For a moment the shopping center was washed in brilliance, but the truck stalled, and then everything faded.

Comments

  1. Also, meant to mention that I just reached 100 blog followers. Huzzah!

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  2. You can delete this after you see it but the word join should be joint in the first sentence. I'm sure it was a typo. Please read mine and see if I made any mistakes like that in my story. Number 181

    Can you believe how many of us there are? This is my second campaign and I love the challenges. Aren't they fun? take care, Clar

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    Replies
    1. Delete free editorial assistance? Never. Thanks Clarbojahn, you are right.I sometimes spell how I think which often gets me into trouble. I shall insert the missing "t" now.

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  3. congrats on your 100 followers.
    This is a great entry for the challenge. Well done.

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  4. Congratulations, and thanks for joining in the challenge. My favorite part was all the sensory details - smells and sounds and everything.

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  5. Stopped by from the Campaign. This sounds like it could be a longer story - I can see all the characters running around in the dark, waving their flashlights at the shadow beasts.

    I enjoyed the details, like "the tang of burnt metal when her father was welding."

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  6. Loved reading your entry. I loved the way you reached the senses.

    I could smell the burnt metal, and my heart pounded for Clare to reach safety Very well done.

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  7. Beautifully written, except for the typo mentioned above! Happens to all of us! Loved, "...their claws finding purchase in every motar joint..." great description.
    This story reminds me of a movie out recently?

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  8. Ahh so scary!! I absolutely loved it!! I think this would be awesome as part of a bigger story!! I would totally read it :)
    Heading over to vote!

    I'm entry #19

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  9. Great descriptions and imagery - you put me right into the story!

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  10. Oh no! Did they make it? Great job - great story:)

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  11. This is brilliant! I'm a new follower from the campaign and I really love this idea. I'd enjoy reading a whole novel based on this premise.

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  12. Nice job! I love the visuals this story gives. You managed to say so much with so little. Voting for you. :)

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  13. Awesome! I love this. Feels so post-apocolyptic, and a bit scary. The last line left more hungry for more! You've been shortlisted to move into round two of judging :) Congrats :)

    I'm entry #207.

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    Replies
    1. Huzzah! That has made my night. now off to watch the season premiere of Downton Abbey.

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  14. That totally had me on the edge of my seat and left me wanting to read more about Clare and her world.

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